By Oh Shoot! Elf #8
9:07 a.m.: I was dreaming that someone was pinning me down and I couldn't breathe. I woke up and realized it wasn't a dream, a Holga 120 Starter Kit had fallen on top of me. I should talk to Elf #3 about switching sleeping quarters. The lucky freak gets to sleep in the Colorsplash Flash box. They don't hurt as much when they fall on you.
10:20 a.m.: I wake up and stretch. Or at least try to. Stretching in a wooden box isn't easy - not even with my little frame - so I jump out.
10:23 a.m.: I see chips on the table. I wonder how much of it I can eat without Head Elf noticing?
10:45 a.m.: These Clover chips are a wonderful human invention. And so is this lovely red sofa. I should sleep here tonight.
10:53: a.m.: I better stop eating before Head Elf gets here. I brush the crumbs off my shirt and sweep it under the pretty brown rug. I just hope Head Elf doesn't check the rug.
10:55 a.m.: I jump back into my box.
11:01 a.m.: It is eerily quiet in the shop. I push the box open and sneak a peek. Shop is still empty. But we're supposed to be open!
11:15 a.m.: Shop is supposed to be open but Head Elf still isn't here. The other elves are getting restless.
11:43 a.m.: Tsk, tsk. Still not here. Ooh, I might have more time to eat more Clover chips!
12:24 p.m.: I see Head Elf pulling up into the driveway. She brought her little car with her today - maybe it means she'll take us elves for a spin?
12:53 p.m.: Head Elf is inside the shop. I know because when she's here, the shop smells good.
12:57 p.m.: The shop has come alive. Some of us are packing orders, preparing them for delivery while some are answering e-mails. I e-mailed a girl in Antique to tell her that her package is coming. Oh Shoot! Elf #12 is hiding in the Supersampler box. He's unbelievably lazy.
1:06 p.m.: The Girl Who Never Shares arrives. I gave her that nickname because she always bring food with her but she never shares with us elves, only with Head Elf.
1:12 p.m.: The Girl Who Never Shares reaches into her bag and pulls out a pack of Oreos. Food! She rips the package open. I start taking bets - would she share? Would she not? She eats one cookie and hands the package to Head Elf. Head Elf shakes her head no. The Girl Who Never Shares puts the pack of Oreos down and starts typing away on her computer. What did I tell you?
1:23 p.m.: A man carrying a helmet walks into the store. He seems interested in the Supersampler. He writes for a magazine, he said. He wants to "hook us up." I don't know what that means but I hope it means us elves can appear in his magazine. We love posing for pictures!
1:51 p.m.: A woman walks in and spends the entire time tap-tapping away on her phone. She is at the shop checking out the goods for her boyfriend. Or husband. I'm not sure. They're interested in a Fisheye 2. Kids follow her in. Kids! I love kids! Too bad us elves aren't allowed to interact with customers face to face. Head Elf says we might scare them off, we get too excited.
2:12 p.m.: Back to answering e-mails.
2:19 p.m.: Yay! Delivery! New cameras! This is better than Christmas! Oh my god, I love delivery days!
2:21 p.m.: Head Elf's brother drops by again. He bought a Fisheye 2 last week and has already used up three rolls. Today, he bought more film. And I think he is on the verge of buying either a Holga 135 or a Vivitar UltraWide and Slim. I like this guy.
2:50 p.m.: Deliveries get me so excited. Head Elf said she'd slip Valium into my C2 the next time a shipment arrives. But how can you blame me for being excited? Fisheye in so many sexy colors! Blue! Yellow! Purple! Orange! The LC-A+ with a new carton packaging! Red Holga! Green Holga! Oh my god, I think I just peed in my little elf pants.
2:55 p.m.: Had to change my little elf pants. Head Elf made Elf #4 check if I washed my hands. Of course I did!
3:50 p.m.: Putting cameras in boxes is a lot harder than it looks - especially when your Head Elf is OC and makes sure you didn't mess up. But it's also a lot more fun than it looks. I had the greatest time making sure the Fisheye boxes were aligned. So many pretty Fisheye cameras, they will make so many people happy.
3:53 p.m.: I start to have evil thoughts. I wonder if Head Elf will notice if one of the orange Fisheyes go missing. But then I remember what happened to those elves and that ring. Or were they hobbits? Or dwarves? I'm not too sure, I just know us elves are much better looking. I returned the orange Fisheye in the Fisheye crate.
3:59 p.m.: I steal an Oreo while The Girl Who Never Shares wasn't looking. Nom nom nom nom nom.
4:02 p.m.: Head Elf shows me the Sidekick Bags that have just arrived. I love them! I can use one as a sleeping bag!
4:23 p.m.: Head Elf gave me the very difficult task of peeling the sealant from the wooden counter. My little elf fingers soon started to feel sore. But I kept peeling and peeling anyway.
4:46 p.m.: I am still peeling when a boy comes in with his father. His father smells good which is more than I can say for some of the other people who visit the shop. The boy buys rolls of film.
5:03 p.m.: Clown Boy arrives while I am still peeling. He is freakishly tall. He is the opposite of elves. I think from now on I'll call him Giant Clown Boy.
5:13 p.m.: An old woman comes in. She is interested in lomography. "It's like art," I heard her say. She wonders if she can use her digital Canon to shoot lomo. Uhh, no, lady, I wanted to shout from the wooden box where I was hiding. She wonders how she can achieve the fishnet effect. Uhh, you buy it from the hosiery section of your favorite department store. Okay, I should stop being mean. The Girl Who Never Shares answers the woman's questions patiently. They speak for an hour and the woman finally settles on the Fisheye 2 and two rolls of film. The old lady is actually nice - she wants to shoot her grandkids with her new camera. I think we will see more of her.
5:31 p.m.: Head Elf, The Girl Who Never Shares and Clown Boy eat chicken sandwiches, fries and onion rings from Burger King. But no Burger King for us elves. And you wonder why we want to eat film?
6:18 p.m.: The voice of god can be heard from below (yes, from below). It's time to close the shop. When god speaks, everyone listens. But we can't close the shop yet, the man who will pick up our shipment has not arrived.
6:29 p.m.: The Head Elf is on the phone with the shipping people. She is annoyed.
6:38 p.m.: The Head Elf is on the phone again with the shipping people. She is even more annoyed. "Let's go," she said to Clown Boy and The Girl Who Never Shares. They are going to another place (a place where elves aren't allowed, I guess, because she didn't invite us) - Nyarbucks, that's what she said.
6:49 p.m.: I realized with glee that The Girl Who Never Shares had left her Oreos behind. Goody! She will never see them again.
7:04 p.m.: The shop is quiet now. Quiet and dark. Everyone has left. I blow on my elf whistle. Head Elf left her iPod! Goody! The party is about to start.
7:48 p.m.: We share the jello shots that we swiped from Head Elf's jello shot session last Friday. Grape and strawberry! Gooooood.
8:01 p.m.: The elves are going a little crazy. Elves #2 and #9 are dancing on the red sofa. Elf #11 is bouncing on the tires. Elves #6 and #7 are walking on the ledge, screaming "Tightrope! Tightrope!" They are giving me a headache. I'm going to bed. I mean box.
